Wednesday, December 1, 2010

You might be a mother if:

-you've ever had to say "don't brush his butt"
-you realize that you have indeed become your mother because you
      A) use your licked finger to clean smudges off of your child's face
      B) used the phrase "because I said so, that's why" and meant it
      C) had to reheat your coffee because you got too busy to drink it, and then forgot it in the microwave (which beeped at you for the next 20 minutes)
-you look forward to the mail arriving because it means a chance to inhale some fresh air and see other adults, even if they're complete strangers passing by on the sidewalk
-you say things like "potty", "doggie", and "ouchie" even though you're talking to another adult and your kid is nowhere near you
-your son's diaper contains bright blue poo and a tiny crayon chunk, and your only thought is "must not have vacuumed the carpet very well"
-you don't mind that you just got poked in the eye because your toddler volunteered to kiss it and make it better
-someone volunteers to take your kids for the day and the first thing you do after they're gone is sleep
-the first 5 items on your grocery list consist of any of the following items: milk, peanut butter, hot dogs, cheese, yogurt, applesauce, pretzels
-you've ever wished on more than one occasion that you bought stock in diapers, bubbles, crayons, baby wipes, board books, and coffee
-a hickey on the neck used to mean too much adoration from your loving spouse, now it means too much adoration from your teething 8-month old
-you keep a stockpile of non-toy items to distract the baby when he's cranky because it works much better than toys (large spatulas, paper towel tubes, a comb, sunglasses, spare keys)
-both children going down for a nap at the same time brings the same amount of excitement that a cancelled class used to in college
-you've ever considered recording yourself singing "you are my sunshine" or "twinkle twinkle little star" so that instead of singing it for the 15th time in a row you could just hit 'play'
-your husband starts to freak out until you explain to him that your toddler said "take the shoes off" and not "daddy's pissed off"
-you get a giftcard for your birthday and use it to buy something for your child
-you no longer mind when someone gifts your kid a noisy toy because you're thinking about how much time it might buy you

1 comment:

  1. ha!! love it!! im with you on pretty much all of those!