You might be a mother if

-there's dried yogurt smeared on your arm (and you haven't eaten any yogurt lately).
-you put on your sweatshirt and a toddler fork falls out of the sleeve.
-you can't find any of your skirts because you haven't worn them in a really long time due to clinging toddler hands that would make the skirt end up around your ankles.
-you don't need to add detergent to your laundry load because there's so much bubble solution on your clothes
-you've ever checked on a sleeping child and accidentally woken them up because one of your joints cracked really loudly when you moved
-you've ever bought candy to reward your toilet training preschooler and ended up eating most of it yourself (helloooooo Reese's Pieces)
-you have ever had to reroll the toilet paper (and you don't live with cats)
-you've ever put a ban on a certain cartoon because your kid will watch it over and over and you're sick of it
-you have distributed more than 3 timeouts in a single day
-attending a birthday dinner where there is both a tablecloth AND lit candles on the table makes you excited
-there is a cartoon character sticker stuck to your floor. In more than one room.
-your shoes are not where you left them and you eventually discover them in another room, carried off by tiny hands or toddler feet (and possibly with toys inside)
-the occasions that warrant the wearing of makeup are so few and far between that you have to buy new items each time because your old ones have expired
-you have ever woken up in the middle of the night with an obnoxious song from a cheesy kid's movie stuck in your head
-you reprimand your child for doing something they're not supposed to, only to look and see that you reprimanded the wrong kid
-diapers, wipes and other various baby items make up for at least half of your grocery bill
-you're excited that Christmas is coming because it means a whole new genre of cartoons to watch (Grinch! Rudolph! Prep & Landing!)
-your son's hair is getting pretty long but you don't mind because it spikes better that way
-you leave your drink unattended and come back to discover a toy floating in it