You might be a mother if: the "Mama Says" version

You might be a mother if you've ever had to say:

"no fishing on the table"
"please don't spit into the octopus"
"sit down on your bottom, please. We don't stand on chairs"
"because I said so, that's why"
"applesauce doesn't belong in your nose, okay?"
"please don't drag your brother around the kitchen"
"why is there a banana on my chair?"
"I don't care what HER mom said. Listen to what I'M saying."
"we only color on paper"
"not in your mouth!"
"please don't let the dog lick your goldfish"
"why is there an elephant on my back?"
"we don't bite Grammy's shoe, okay?"
"let's not leave cheese on the floor"
"why, yes. yes, I do have my hands full."
"you smell like poo...and strawberries."
"why are you growling? and where are your socks? and why am I sitting on a bunch of pretzels?"
"get your hand out of your pants"
"please don't eat things off the floor"
"I washed the Zebra"
"Please don't swordfight with me when I'm trying to change your diaper."
"If you shine that light in my eyes one more time, I will take your piggy."
"move your face, I'm using a screwdriver!"
"ballerinas don't thump."