As a writer, one of the things I love to do is write down when people say funny things. And now you all get to benefit from that. Below are a collection of quotes from the past several months. (and if you find yourself included in this list, well... that means you're funny!) Enjoy!
"I can't even remember the last time my eyeballs were on fire."
"but it was the only color fanny-pack I had!"
"my news sources are a carefully blended mix of CNN, NPR, BBC, The Daily Show, and The Onion."
"you make my hockey stick float"
"only if it matters. If it doesn't matter, then it won't matter"
"I've been up here preaching these great sermons, why aren't you all any different?"
"you'll KNOW when I burp, I'm like a T-Rex when I do it."
"I was going to do Black Friday but I'm out of pepper spray & ammo"
"would you rather be shot in the fracas or the brouhaha?"
"you shouldn't make fun of spaghetti when you are a waffle!"
"her boobs wouldn't stop staring at my face."
"I don't mind if he gets offended. I get over it pretty fast."
"no, I don't want to read the tutorial, I am awesome at this game! oops. Wait, how do you kick?"