My kid is crying because...

-I wouldn't let him watch me pee
-her ponytail is too high
-the cheese is sliding out of his sandwich
-there's grass on her feet
-the apple isn't red enough
-she broke her own crayon
-I wouldn't let him get up from the dinner table to watch a car back out of the driveway
-the book won't stay open on a specific page
-I'm not sharing my spicy food even though the spice would just make them cry and freak out
-the strawberries are too cold
-I'm making him wear underwear
-I made her go potty when she didn't feel like she had to
-I gave him the blue cup
-the sun is setting
-I wouldn't let him hand me a booger
-dinner isn't ready yet, even though he caused the delay by putting his shorts in the toilet
-his sister is in his room
-he has to use his inside voice inside
-the balloon isn't floating anymore
-I wouldn't paint his toenails
-he insisted on opening his own granola bar and promptly broke the bar in half
-the string cheese had the wrong number on the wrapper
-I wouldn't let her do headstands on the couch
-there are wrinkles in his car rug
-she needs TWO blankets around her ears at bedtime, not just one
-the chalk is too dusty
-I wouldn't let the 3-year old drink my espresso
-I cut his sandwich