You might be a mother if:

-you've ever gone somewhere by yourself and felt like you were forgetting something the whole time because you didn't have any kids with you
-your children's dirty laundry makes you wish they made washing machines with built-in garbage disposals
-you've ever stood with your head in the fridge so you could eat a snack unnoticed
-there are tiny little fingerprints all over your computer screen
-your dream vehicle* involves self-closing, sliding doors on BOTH sides of the vehicle
-your husband has never looked sexier than when he's reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to your children
- at bathtime you wash your child's armpit just a liiiiiiiittle bit longer than is actually necessary
-you've ever had your finger bitten because it was in someone's mouth checking for teeth
-you've ever been dancing with a guy and not only did you have to lead but he was sitting on your hip
- you've ever taught your 1 year old how to fist-bump
-you don't mind having to wait at the bank/post office/ nail salon because you're alone and it's quiet
-your knuckles are all scraped up from too-short sidewalk chalk
-you've ever bought a 4-pound tub of peanut butter
-you've ever used baby shampoo to wash your hair because you ran out of your own and the kids' shampoo was your only option
-you've ever used one of your t-shirts for your child's finger-painting smock


*while it would be nice for our current van to have doors on both sides, that is NOT my dream vehicle.
This is.