Chin up

I'm in a bit of a funk right now, or as my former coworker used to call it, "a foul mood". I am having a "woe is me" pity party for myself...mostly because I can.
My birthday was on Monday. Only my mother called me. I have 3 siblings...none of them called me. none of them posted on my Facebook. Hell, I didn't even get a "Haps B!" text message. Now, I only turned 28. I realize that's not a big milestone or anything but it's still my birthday. One day out of the year, folks, that's all I'm asking. The reason I feel free to gripe on here is one; it's my blog, and two; I'm pretty sure only about 3 people actually read this, which leads me to pity party item two. The last 10 or so posts I've made have gotten no comments. None. not even if I add them all together. This bums me out. I know that I started this blog for myself, to get back into writing, but sometimes you just need the feedback, you know? to know that someone is out there that thinks your thoughts (however small or poorly written) are worth reading. I know I'm not superblogger or anything...ah, I guess I'm just complaining in hopes that this post will go viral and by tomorrow I'll have 3000 followers and I'll pop some ads up here and start making money for the first time since being laid off.
whatever. I guess I just need to get it through my head that this blog really is for me and anyone else's 2 cents is just a bonus. but then we get into "zero expectations" territory, which is good in theory...but I have noticed there is a SUPER fine line between "zero expectations" and "trust issues". or perhaps I should say "zero expectations" and Eeyore Syndrome. "I don't need anyone to comment, this is just for me. not that it matters, because no one will comment anyway. Nobody cares." see how that works?

I did have an excellent birthday, with some fantastic presents that I can't wait to use (Camera stuff, woohoo!) and Bogie let me sleep in while he took care of the kids (he actually took care of them most of the day, which was a super thoughtful and amazing gift). Maybe that's part of what's adding to my funk, it didn't take long to get spoiled with all that free time and now it's gone again. Maybe every day should be my birthday. only with more phone calls.
see, and now it's 11:15 at night and I've only had an hour and a half of free time, but I need to go to bed because D will be awake in a few hours because he's STILL not sleeping through the night...pretty sure sleep-deprivation doesn't help the foul mood.
you know what else doesn't help? having no money. I'm not a big fan of living on a budget, but I can do it. but I get super stressed out when there are bills hanging over my head that I can't pay. I hate it. hate hate hate. it wouldn't take much to make our lives free and easy, either. it's hard not to get resentful when I hear of some ballplayer (foot or base) that got fined for some stupid action that resulted in them paying oh $15,000 or so in fees. seriously, that's chump change for them and that amount would absolutely put us at ease. What they spend on the pro-athlete's equivalent of a parking ticket I could use to pay off all our bills, medical and otherwise, pay our rent for a year or so in advance, get a decent used car for both Bogie and I, and either make a serious dent in our student loans or make a nice deposit to our savings account.
$30,000 would put us completely out of debt, financially at ease with 2 nice vehicles and a solid nest egg. and they get fined that amount for doing the chicken dance in the end zone. gotta love America. (I have no idea if anyone got fined for doing the chicken dance in the endzone, I just made that up. but they get fined for doing really stupid things).
oh, AND...we were invited to a costume party tomorrow, except Bogie has to work and nobody would trade with him. so we'd have to leave the party at like 9:45...but we don't have a babysitter anyway and even if we did the kids won't go to bed until like 7:30 which basically gives us an hour at the party. where's my kazoo?
I know how to fix this. I will call up all my siblings and yell at them for being bad siblings, and then we'll ALL be in foul moods. I will also go try out for a game show and win my $30,000 nest egg... so who wants to go audition for "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" with me?

Craziness

Bogie's birthday was on Wednesday. My birthday is on Monday. We like to call the 5 day span between those days "Birthday Week".
We went out with friends on Wednesday night and had a great time (even though I had to come back early because D wouldn't go to sleep or stop crying).
My grandparents (who live in VA) came to visit us Thursday afternoon, we had a lovely visit where they got to meet D for the first time and reacquaint themselves with ZaZa, who was D's age when they saw her last. They stayed Thursday night (even stuck it out through the entire Phillies game before going to bed! I went to bed before my grandparents...I am officially old) and went back home Friday morning. This morning I went fake-eyelashes shopping with both kids and a friend of mine, she's still deciding what to wear for her costume (she's throwing a costume party next weekend and we're all going!) and I needed some accessories to complete my outfit (red lipstick, false eyelashes and black eyeliner are three of the items I got. Can you guess what/who I am? Are you distracted from guessing my costume by the fact that I did not own either lipstick or eyeliner before now?)
 Right now everyone's napping but me, I just got back from walking a mile at the gym and when everyone wakes up we're headed over to my Uncle's house. He's hosting the First Annual OctoberFeast Backyard BBQ and I'm very excited to see everyone and hang out. Tomorrow morning is church, and then after lunch my generous and gracious aunt is coming over to watch both kids so that Bogie and I can go have a date! It's her birthday present to us both, we're thinking dinner and a movie but we'll see how the cards fall. We may just decide to do a long dinner so that we can eat without rushing (or eating standing up, or refilling sippy cups, or picking sandwich chunks off the floor...you get my point)
Monday is my actual birthday, and Bogie has promised (as his gift to me) to play offense with D all Sunday night so that I can get some solid sleep, and then keep taking care of them both all day Monday so that I can enjoy my birthday however I wish. Mmmm, sounds heavenly. I think I might take a bath. or paint my toes. Or find a bottle of Arbor Mist and make it my friend. Monday evening we're headed over to Bogie's parents house to do the family birthday celebration together with them. I love his family. My family. (I'm gonna get yelled at for that one, "we're your family too now!" you knew what I meant.)
After that, the week kinda looks boring...until the costume party on Saturday that is! I'm excited for that too, I haven't dressed up in forever (i.e. Dromedary Camel when I was 6) and I'm hoping that I won't have to come back early for any reason *coughcoughDcoughcough*. Better make sure our babysitter (whoever that may be) is all squared away!
We should be leaving for the BBQ soon and everyone's still asleep. Guess I'll pass the time by collecting blankets and jackets and hats.

It's cold today

I can hear the rain crackling against the glass of the office window as the cars sploosh by. My son, comfy warm in his PJs, is working his way across the carpet in his pre-crawling quest for his sister's blue beach ball. He turns and grins at me, a heart-stopping, full-of-charm-too-great-for-his-tender-years sort of smile, all proud of himself that he managed to snag a white plastic Fisher-Price fence and is now gumming it ferociously. It's cold today. A tow truck sits at the curb of the dealership across the street, engine grumbling like a mother hen waiting for a 2-ton chick to get off her back.

PJs McGee decides he's done with the fence and wants actual food RIGHT NOW, so as he smacks and slurps his way through his afternoon snack I attempt to keep typing with only one hand. Not an easy task, especially when McGee decides he wants to eat my hoodie drawstrings instead. Today is the kind of day that I would wish to be able to spend all day in my sweatpants, drinking tea or hot chocolate and watching old movies. Thanks to the wonders of being laid off, I can spend all day in my sweatpants, but I'm lucky if I get to eat a meal, much less drink tea or watch a movie.

It's Quiet Time right now, which is mommy-code for "I don't care if you sleep or not, but you're going to spend the next 2 hours up in your room so that I can regain my sanity". Thankfully, my high-energy 2-year old (ZaZa) usually sleeps for most of the time, which makes for a much more enjoyable afternoon for all involved.

When I was still working, I used to sit at my desk and think about all the things I could accomplish if I were at home, and would make lists on pieces of scrap paper and post-it notes of tasks to accomplish once I got home. But getting home usually meant a snack and crashing on the couch to requests of "mommy read?" as a sleek board book was pushed at my nose, and those lists were forgotten in the stewpot of hugs, "how'd your day go?" summaries, and dinnertime preparations. I always thought that work was my excuse for never getting those lists finished, but now that I'm home all day I beat myself up that none of those tasks have been completed. And then I remember that "Mommy" is a much harder job, and who really gives a flying fart in space if there's a huge pile of clothes at the foot of my bed, as long as they're mounded up all nice and high so that nobody trips over a stray sweatshirt and does a faceplant? There will always be a to-do list, but there will not always be a 6-month old who wants to cuddle, or a 2-year old with a stuffy nose who wants to pretend she's a cat, a dog, and a cow all at once.

It's hard to not feel guilty for not being the perfect housewife and SAHM (stay-at-home-mom), because when I wasn't able to it was easy to imagine that I could be. Reality is a swift kick in the Whatsies, you know? Most days I pretend that the undone lists don't bother me, and fail miserably. I know in my head that there are far more important things, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that being in a completely clean house makes me happy and at ease.

So here I sit in my sweatpants and soggy-stringed hoodie, having forgotten to eat lunch because McGee woke up

as soon as ZaZa went to bed. I haven't showered yet today, there are dishes on the counter, and I have to leave for a haircut appointment in 15 minutes. I will most likely scarf down a banana because it's quick and healthier than a zebra cake. It's still cold, and still raining. The house is still messy, and I'm still hungry. ZaZa's still sleeping, and I'm still thinking about all the things I could be getting done if I didn't have 2 kids to care for all day long. But then I think about how barren life would be if I didn't have my precious little ones, and I'm okay with the crumbs on the carpet and the unfolded laundry (but only because I know that I will eventually get to clean it without ignoring my babies or husband).

 Rain, rain, go away, Mama wants her new haircut to not frizz today.

Make Mine Blue is having a giveaway!

My friend Jenn over at Make Mine Blue is having a giveaway. Today's the last day for it, folks, tomorrow her cutie-pie 3-year old will be picking a name out of a hat.
To enter just leave a comment telling her what your favorite color is!

Today we discovered...

*Extra-tall babygates do not a 3-foot tall toddler contain.

*6:30 am is a miserable time to be awake, especially when it involves discovering your kid in the bathroom rifling through the drawer full of bandaids, wipes, and nail polish (see above)

*peanut butter is an excellent substitute for glue. The probability of PB being distributed on objects is directly related to the probability of said object being expensive, fragile, or otherwise averse to oily food pastes.

*in a similar vein, the probability of missing the garbage truck is directly related to how much garbage is accumulating by the back door.

*the earlier you wake up, the longer the day seems (i.e. "it's 8:30 am, shouldn't it be time for lunch by now?")

*the one day that the sleepless, up-every-few-hours kid sleeps in is the one day that the goes-right-to-bed-and-sleeps-for-12-hours-kid will be up bright (not so much) and early.

* "ouchy butt" is toddler code for raunchiest diaper ever

*nothing ever goes according to plan...except on the rare occasions where it doesn't matter and you have several back-up plans that you like better

*the angrier you are, the more likely it is that your kid will do something totally off the wall that makes you crack up

*stainless steel mixing bowls are best used as a drumset only when everyone is awake

*burning candles with such scents as "pumpkin spice" and "mulled cider" will not only make your home smell delicious and Autumn-like, but will also leave you missing your family and the holiday get-togethers (and possibly craving pie)

*a brand new diaper is just an invitation to its owner to poo faster and with more quantity

*being out of bread, strawberries, yogurt, hotdogs, string cheese and grapes almost guarantees that your toddler will request toast, sandwiches, fruit, and all of the other items you cannot make or no longer have

*the carnival fish your daughter came home with will not die immediately as expected...but rather after they have been named and she is semi-attached you can expect them to "hitch a ride on the porcelain express" any day now. (Clyde and Janet, in case you were interested. and bonus points if you can tell me where the quote is from!)

Save the Ta-Tas!

Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I thought I'd write a post about how you can help support research and awareness!

S.C. Johnson has a "pink my profile" application for Facebook, (http://www.facebook.com/rightathome) the first time anyone installs the application and pinks their profile, S.C. Johnson will donate $1 to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation (http://www.bcrfcure.org/). I did it, the application was super easy to install and I could choose how dark or light pink I wanted my picture and which corner I wanted the ribbon in. Easy-peasy!

Buy pink things! http://www.shopkomen.com/ 25% of your purchase goes to Susan G. Komen For the Cure®
and speaking of Susan G. Komen: (http://ww5.komen.org/donate/donate.html) Yoplait is doing their Save Lids to Save Lives, for every lid you turn in ( goes until December 31, 2010) Yoplait^® will donate 10 cents per lid (up to $1.6 million!) to Susan G. Komen for the Cure^®. Guaranteed donation of $500,000 minimum!

Go to The Breast Cancer Site (http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=2) and click on that giant pink button so that sponsors will pay for mammograms! You can also shop there too, (direct quote from their website "About" section) " With each item purchased, shoppers generate funds for free mammograms for women in need."

Save the Ta-Tas: (http://www.savethetatas.com/) has merchandise for sale and at least 25% of proceeds go to fight against breast cancer.

There are more organizations but I've run out of time. I need to go to bed because my 6-month old will be awake in a couple of hours looking for a meal (that boy would be eating us out of house and home if breastmilk weren't free!) see I can talk about that because this is a Ta-tas post! Breastfeeding is actually one of the ways to significantly lower your risk of breast cancer. Please get your screenings, do the exams, and live healthy to live long!
Feel your boobies!

Autumn has arrived!

I am officially declaring it. Fall is here, for the following reasons:

* Saturday night I had the first cup of hot chocolate this season.
* Yesterday I wore my fuzzy purple slippers all day long.
* This morning I had to turn the heat on in the car (dashboard said it was 49 degrees out!)
* I am currently burning a "Pumpkin Spice" candle to combat the gloominess of this cold, rainy day.

If it feels like Fall, and it looks like Fall, and it smells like Fall, and it tastes like Fall, and it sounds like Fall,
then it must be Fall!