Wednesday, January 12, 2011

You might be a mother if:

-your toddler falls and hurts her tushie and then asks you (in all seriousness) to kiss her butt
-you pick up the crumbs on the carpet that are big enough to choke on, and don't worry about the tiny pieces because you've resigned yourself to the fact that your 9-month old is a mini-Hoover
-baby's first snowfall is an occasion that warrants the camera
- you've played the game "I want your booger" to make nose-blowing fun for the 2-year old
-you have ever had the food standoff (no more food until you eat your ______)
-items in your purse migrate into the diaper bag until the diaper bag IS your purse
-you step into the shower and scatter about 5 squirty toys
-your kids get new toys for Christmas that (so far) you have spent more time playing with than they have
-you coordinate your shirt color with the new babyfood your 9-month old will be trying that day
-you have a lightbulb moment when you realize you do indeed have eyes in the back of your head and that therefore you've graduated to "expert mom"
-you get a phone call from your husband telling you that when he forgot to shut the bathroom door, your daughter observed the proceedings and then asked him if he was holding a hose
-you grade diapers by how many baby wipes it takes to clean up the mess, anything above 4 wipes is a guaranteed outfit change
-you speak fluent "toddlerese"
-you smile sympathetically at the mom with the screaming toddler instead of glaring at her like everyone else is doing
-you instinctively say "no" when your child asks for a special treat and then think "oh, man. now I have to reinforce this rule all day long!"
-you eat a snack in the bathroom so that you don't have to share

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