Little Black Dresscapade

seems simple enough. one dress, color: black.
not so much.

I knew I would have some difficulty finding the perfect dress since I'm 5'11 and my idea of style isn't "in". What I did not anticipate is that designers would create a tube of fabric that stretches from armpit to buttcheek and call it a dress. I mean, REALLY? Here I am, searching through sales racks just trying to find a black dress, and all I can find are creations I would only feel comfortable labeling as tube tops. Now I realize what would be a knee-length dress on someone else would be a mini-dress on me, but these dresses wouldn't be decent on a 4 year old. Haven't they ever heard of "less is more" (in regards to skin)? I know that I hold a higher standard of modesty than the average girl, but morals aside: how can an outfit like that even be comfortable? I mean, just sitting down would make the dress go so far up you'd have to cover your lap to avoid a peepshow, never mind trying to walk or heaven forbid, bend over! Oh, and did I mention that when I found a dress that I liked (it wasn't black, but I liked the style) the material was so flimsy and see through that I would have had to wear another dress underneath it to avoid public indecency! What's that about? You can't make a dress with a full lining? You think girls want to show their undies through a garment?
I love to look good, but I firmly believe that the first step to looking good is being comfortable in what you're wearing. When you're comfortable, you're confident, and when you're confident, you pretty much look good in anything. And I do not see how anyone could possibly be comfortable in the kind of crap that they're shoving in stores in the name of fashion. And the short dresses were just the beginning, there were all kinds of ugly decorations all over these dresses too. I mean, if these designs were on a tee-shirt in a thrift store, all of these girls would be turning up their noses at them. but since they're on a new dress in a "nice" store, let's shell out $60 to wear somebody else's idea of cool.
I'm not sure if this is more my rant of not being able to find my perfect little black dress, or about the clothing industry. but seriously, ladies, less is more. If you're covered up, comfortable and confident, that is FAR more attractive than cleavage, buttcheeks, and someone else's idea of a nice outfit.
okay, I lied. I actually did find the perfect little black dress, I just can't afford it. and they ran out of it in my size. and I'd have to sew a triangle of black lace in the neckline to avoid flashing the ladies about. and obviously it's too late to buy it now because the wedding's tomorrow. but other than that it's perfect! haha.http://www.modcloth.com/store/ModCloth%2FWomens/Hello+Marilyn+Dress
Moral of the story?
buy a sewing machine and make my own clothes. They'd be tailored to my size, length, and taste. and much cheaper. I think I just might do that.
although that still doesn't help with my outfit for the wedding tomorrow.
And the Little Black Dresscapade continues...