And so it goes...

The year 2010, that is.
It was a full year, with several life-changing events.

First and foremost, the arrival of this little guy.

I use the term "little" loosely, he was almost 9 pounds and a natural birth (although MUCH easier than his 7 1/2 pound sister who was sunny-side up).

Mr. Dominic James Langley arrived on March 21st of 2010, and we were all quite excited to meet him. His big sister didn't fully grasp what was going on since she was not quite 2, but she was very happy to have mommy back home and put up with the intrusive little blue bundle until he got more interactive.

3 months later, Miss AnnaSophia Grace Langley turned 2 years old in a quiet celebration with us and her grandparents, aunts & uncles. She got to try real cake for the first time, took one bite, declared that she didn't like it and ignored it in favor of her precious strawberries. The vanilla ice cream that Aunt Mona snuck her, on the other hand, she LOVED.

On a not so pleasant note, at the end of May I was laid off from my job of almost 5 years. I started working there the November after I graduated from college, and they laid me off 9 days after I returned from maternity leave with the D-man. I am currently still on unemployment and we're busy rethinking some life strategies and making some major decisions. More on that later.

It was a big year for firsts, baby's first 4th, Thanksgiving, Christmas, he's currently sporting 5 teeth at 9 months of age, can sit up on his own and has a funky little army crawl going on. ZaZa doubled and possibly even tripled her vocabulary and loves to sing songs about what she's currently doing. Narration by song, if you will. She's 2 1/2 going on 16 and likes to tell me what to do.

(I'm in the process of telling her not to take his sock off. As you can tell, she's not sure she wants to listen)

It's also my first time being a stay-at-home mom, which I'm still getting used to. When I was working, I used to sit at my desk and make lists of all the stuff that I could have been doing if I had been home. Well, now I'm home and that stuff still ain't happening!

Not gonna lie, besides a few blazing highlights throughout the year, it was overall a pretty rough one.

Here's hoping 2011 is much better. I wish you all health, peace, and contentment.

Every year on this night I always recall our celebrations at my parent's cabin in NY, where I grew up. It was while I was still in high school, so we would toast with sparkling grape juice (still one of my favorite drinks!) and daddy would make a big platter of cheese, crackers, and sweet bologna (the kind that looks like a giant sausage and you have to peel the plastic casing off before you eat it) for everyone to snack on. He would also concoct a dish of spicy brown mustard and mix in enough honey to make it a tangy dip for the cheese & beef. We could easily go through several blocks of cheese before midnight! We would usually watch a movie or two, most likely something black and white because we're awesome like that. One of my favorites to watch on New Year's is "After the Thin Man", with William Powell and Myrna Loy. It's good stuff.

Since we've been married my favorite celebrations have been the ones where we get together with a bunch of friends and play a ton of games until it's time to watch the ball drop. This year the kids are sick, so even if we'd been invited to somebody's place we probably wouldn't have been able to go. So far my night has consisted of a nice warm bath for both of them, after which I doped them up with Vicks and Tylenol, and now I'm sitting here typing this and paying a few bills while Bogie plays Madden on his PS3. We'll turn the TV on in about half an hour and watch the ball drop and then probably go to bed, since ZaZa's woken up at 5 am the past 2 mornings in a row.

Enjoy my Winnie-the-Pooh-esque toast:

May your days be Merry and Bright, and may the New Year bring you Comfort and Joy Beyond Your Wildest Dreams.

Happy New Year.

all the guests have gone...

I was ready to have my house back, but not ready for them to leave.
It was so great having my family here, I miss them already and hate that they live so far away.

The tree is down (taken down during naptime to minimize the ornament-meddling) and boxed up, decorations tucked away, toybox put back in its corner and with the rocking horse still in the office the living room seems huge! y'know, especially now that it's no longer fitting 8 additional people. The folding table has been folded and put in the office as well, and the dining table migrated back from the kitchen into its spot. My kitchen now seems huge as well!
The house is pretty much back in order, including the clean load of dishes in the dishwasher that need to be put away and the load of clothes in the dryer that need to be folded. My fridge is full of leftovers (turkey stew, turkey bits for sandwiches, eggnog, sparkling grape juice, purple frosting) and I completely forgot how much I love brown sugar and cream in my coffee. I MIGHT have had a cup and a half of coffee today, no sense in letting the last bit in the pot go to waste! There is a large stack of games sitting on D's high chair tray, and a pile of paper snowflakes on my desk. New toys are stacked next to the toybox since there was no room for them in the toybox itself (I need to do some toy-culling!)
I took lots of pictures, they'll be uploaded eventually. For now, I just got the call that my family is safe and sound back in SC (got the call yesterday that bro & SIL were safe in CT) so everyone's good and I'm going to go eat some Wilbur Buds and go to bed. or maybe just go to bed, since D is having troubles staying asleep because he can't keep his pacifier in his mouth due to a stuffy nose. the hacking cough might also have something to do with it. Tylenol, work your magic!
Merry Christmas, everyone!

5 Favorite Things Friday, Christmas version

making and decorating cookies!

 the christmas tree, with all of its decorations!

 Christmas specials! We watched the Grinch for the first time (me for the first time this season, her for the first time ever! I had to get up from the beanbag where we were snuggling so that I could take a picture.)

 snuggly winter PJs and santa hats to play with (and the cutest little boy in the world!)

 okay, this one's not particularly Christmassy, but I love her. her and her gorgeously ginormous blue eyes.

A few more outtakes

from our recent Christmas Card photoshoot. I'm only getting 20 cards, so for those of you who don't get an actual card, I will eventually post a photo of our finished card too (but not until the others have been mailed so that it's still a surprise.)
In the meantime, enjoy these "not quite right" ones that didn't make it onto the final card.

hands in the way.

 more hands (he's chewing on a jingle bell, how festive is that?)

 hands in the face and a hat malfunction.

 okay, there's nothing wrong with this one except I wanted to see more of AnnaSophia's face. it almost made it onto the card, but it's still one of my favorite's.



 moving children = blurriness. I love the look on D-man's face though, how much do you want to kiss him right now?
 more moving targets

 stinkin' migrating Santa hats

 we were losing them at this point. he's trying to travel places, she's got the bell and doesn't care what the hat's doing.

 hats are gone, but we're still watching daddy make funny faces to get us to smile for the camera.

 imitating daddy, and chowing down on a hat. good times.

 blurry smooches. the battery died or I might have gotten another shot because she gave him another kiss at daddy's request.

I love these two, they're so precious. in their penguin PJs.

Wordless Wednesday

You might be a mother if:

-you've ever had to say "don't brush his butt"
-you realize that you have indeed become your mother because you
      A) use your licked finger to clean smudges off of your child's face
      B) used the phrase "because I said so, that's why" and meant it
      C) had to reheat your coffee because you got too busy to drink it, and then forgot it in the microwave (which beeped at you for the next 20 minutes)
-you look forward to the mail arriving because it means a chance to inhale some fresh air and see other adults, even if they're complete strangers passing by on the sidewalk
-you say things like "potty", "doggie", and "ouchie" even though you're talking to another adult and your kid is nowhere near you
-your son's diaper contains bright blue poo and a tiny crayon chunk, and your only thought is "must not have vacuumed the carpet very well"
-you don't mind that you just got poked in the eye because your toddler volunteered to kiss it and make it better
-someone volunteers to take your kids for the day and the first thing you do after they're gone is sleep
-the first 5 items on your grocery list consist of any of the following items: milk, peanut butter, hot dogs, cheese, yogurt, applesauce, pretzels
-you've ever wished on more than one occasion that you bought stock in diapers, bubbles, crayons, baby wipes, board books, and coffee
-a hickey on the neck used to mean too much adoration from your loving spouse, now it means too much adoration from your teething 8-month old
-you keep a stockpile of non-toy items to distract the baby when he's cranky because it works much better than toys (large spatulas, paper towel tubes, a comb, sunglasses, spare keys)
-both children going down for a nap at the same time brings the same amount of excitement that a cancelled class used to in college
-you've ever considered recording yourself singing "you are my sunshine" or "twinkle twinkle little star" so that instead of singing it for the 15th time in a row you could just hit 'play'
-your husband starts to freak out until you explain to him that your toddler said "take the shoes off" and not "daddy's pissed off"
-you get a giftcard for your birthday and use it to buy something for your child
-you no longer mind when someone gifts your kid a noisy toy because you're thinking about how much time it might buy you

Ah, holidays

Last Tuesday Bogie's cousin and I decorated my mother-in-law's house for Thanksgiving.

 We were rewarded with this amazing sunset that evening.

 I love this mug, I use it every time I'm over at their house!

 Sleeping Beauties. We had barely finished breakfast, much less Thanksgiving dinner!

 Flower's for MIL's recovery on a decorated entertainment unit.

 The entryway and a lovely drawing of my in-laws by my sister-in-law.

Back Door.

 Garage door.

 Bogie and the D-man watching the Patriots game.

Tables are all set and ready to go, with ZaZa getting a head start to keep her out of mischief.

It was a lovely Thanksgiving meal, tons of amazing food that we all ate too much of and lots of football accompanied with some yummy pies.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I hope you had a good holiday. I'm currently deciding where to put the Christmas tree!

Thank you

Thank you for the world so sweet
Thank you for the food we eat
Thank you for the birds that sing
Thank you, God, for everything
Amen.

We sang this song as a blessing throughout most of my childhood. I tried finding a video of the song, but the few songs that had the right lyrics had the wrong melody and were cheesy obnoxious kiddie songs. Unless you grew up Mennonite or with Mennonite family, you probably have no idea what the song sounds like but suffice it to say that this little blessing always makes me think of the Holidays.
The biggest table in the house loaded with clear crystal and shining china awaiting icy water and hot food. Tapered candles in elegant candlesticks, white cotton wicks sticking straight up ready for the touch of a match. Folded napkins, baskets of hot rolls, a fresh pot of coffee ready to accompany the many slices of pie. This, to me, is what a holiday is all about. All the members of your family sitting around the same table with multiple conversations going on, usually with the person at the farthest side of the table. There's a general melee of migrating dishes, tinkling china and silverware, and overlapping "your grandfather used to play that at the-" "of course she didn't know there was-" "the other day the kids said to me-" occasionally punctuated by a loud laugh that halts all other conversations as the amused one fills everyone else in on the source of merriment.

Family.
Food.
Friends.
Thankfulness.

If I haven't said it lately, I love you. I am thankful that you are here. Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you for being a part of my life. I hope that your Thanksgiving Day is a day of rest, and a day to delight in the company of your family and friends as you eat delicious food and nap during the football game. I hope that you are able to be thankful for something, be it family, friends, food, a job, health, or Jesus.
I am thankful for Jesus, because he's the reason why I can enjoy all of the other things that I love about the holidays.

Thank you for the world so sweet
Thank you for the food we eat
Thank you for the birds that sing
Thank you, God, for everything
Amen.

Updates

The D-man had a checkup today, he's 20 lbs, 12 ozs, 30 & 3/4 inches long and he got a DPT shot today. (We didn't start shots until 6 months and then we only do one at a time so I can tell if he has a reaction and what he's reacting to, we did ZaZa the same way).

The shot combined with the imminent arrival of his top teeth is making my little charmer cranky. He drops a toy and starts SOBBING as if he just got hit in the head, it's rather heartbreaking. He is so close to sitting up on his own, and crawling! It's very exciting to watch, he gets up on his knees and elbows and rocks back and forth with his little hands clasped and a big grin on his face. His current mode of transportation is rolling, it's very effective until he gets stuck somewhere (and then he commences the aforementioned sobbing until someone comes to rescue him)
MIL is doing better! She's home, healing, and doing her level best to follow the doctor's orders. D and I spent most of the day with her today since she can't lift, climb stairs, or bend over to pick things up. He served as the cheerful, cute distraction while I did some dishes, got her mail, and we had lots of girly talk. We're going back over tomorrow to decorate the house for Thanksgiving since the in-laws are hosting, Bogie's cousin will be helping me and we'll raid MIL's stash of Autumn decor. good times.

speaking of the in-laws, this was the view from their front porch the other evening.

A safety-pin (thanks, Sooz!) pinned through the top of her zipper has kept ZaZa from being able to unzip her sleepers, so I have been able to catch up with the laundry and stop cleaning up puddles from the carpet. I'm going to have to get some more, because I only had two and Bogie misplaced one.

I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am for Christmas, my whole family is coming here so not only do I get to host my very first Christmas but we don't have to travel!!! (Don't get me wrong, Bogie and I love road trips, just not with a "jack russel" of a 2 year old, and a teething 8 month old in tow.) and if those weren't enough reasons to be excited, it's CHRISTMAS! teehee. my favorite season, and the most wonderful time of the year. cue Burl Ives! I have to figure out where in the world I'm going to put the tree, last year it was sitting exactly where I'm sitting right now. We can't have that, I can't type witty updates with an evergreen all up in my business.
have a holly jolly christmas...okay, I'll stop now.
you have been updated!
in summation, my child is a giant, my mother-in-law is doing better, safety pins have stopped the peeing, and Christmas rocks my socks off.
Carla is out. Peace! (phineas & ferb, anyone? no? hey. where's perry?)

I killed the fish

there were lots of things that went wrong yesterday.

potty-training is on a hiatus, she isn't ready and neither am I.
not only is she not ready, but even though we have her PJ's on backwards so she can't reach the zipper, lately she still manages to get them off and remove her diaper and inevitably pee somewhere.

so bedtime was rough because she got punished for taking her sleepers off and peeing on the floor, and then of course she didn't want to calm down and go to sleep so she stayed up and cried. I get all anxious and scrunched up inside when she doesn't go down easy, when I can hear her up there crying and saying "mommy, mommy", I just hate it. normal bedtime is I read her a book, tuck her in, give kisses and hugs, and then I shut the gate and tell her one last "goodnight" and "I love you", to which she usually pipes up "lub you! nigh-night!". When bedtime goes smoothly, it's an "all is right with the world" feeling and I'm at peace. When bedtime doesn't go well I get anxious, what if she's crying because she's scared? could we have handled that differently so she wouldn't have had to go to bed on a "bad" note? I know that she will eventually fall asleep and wake up in the morning and all will be good...I dunno, maybe it's just me because nighttime has always made me anxious. I had a really tough time sleeping for a long time growing up, some nights not even the tape of lullabies would help (Sleep Sound in Jesus, anyone?). The only failsafe was our cat, Angel, when she slept with me it was like her purring wrapped us in a big bubble of Safe and kept all the fear and bad dreams away. I know that ZaZa's only 2, but I want to make sure that she feels safe, I want to keep all the fear and bad dreams away from her. but I also want her to stop peeing on the floor. I am currently working on figuring out a gadget that will hook the zipper tab to the top of the PJs so that the zipper can't be pulled down. if she can't unzip, she can't get out! mwah-ha-ha! (and no, safety pins won't work because she could get it open and poke herself).

and THEN, after all that, I changed the water in the fish's container and did something wrong because 2 hours later bye-bye Clyde and Janet. "hitched a ride on the porcelain express".
I killed the fish.
it was that kind of day.

Jinkies

I am stressed out. Not in a "we pulled off the mask and the ghost zombie is the professor" kind of way, but the Thelma swear word seemed appropriate anyway.

My mother-in-law had surgery this morning. Took a LOT longer than they originally thought, like 4 extra hours. zoinks! (don't hate. I have a theme going here). Good news is she came through it just fine, everything went well and hopefully we can bring her home tomorrow to recover. Please continue to pray for her recovery!

We started potty-training today. In an effort to avoid an Eeyore mentality ("we can't all. and most of us don't.") I will state that some progress was made because by the end of the day she was telling me (as she was going in her pants) that she had to go. I will spare you the rest of the details, but suffice it to say I did a rather large load of laundry this afternoon while fervently wishing I had all hardwood floors. Kudos to my amazing Grandma, who reminded me not only to be patient but that all 6 of her children are potty-trained now. Haha. I love my family.

> totally off-topic, but can I just say that the Philadelphia Eagles are absolutely CRUSHING the Redskins right now? I mean, I'm an Eagles fan by marriage/geography, but they just scored another touchdown to make it 59 to 21 in the 3rd. FIFTY-NINE. in the THIRD. with 5 minutes and a whole other quarter to go still. say it with me...Jinkies!

back to the topic at hand: Not only is it stressful not having money to pay bills, but I'm even more stressed about it because my desk is totally unorganized and I'm not even sure where half of them are! *snaps fingers Mary Poppins style*
okay, somebody please explain to me why my desk didn't arrange itself while whistling me a cheerful tune!
maybe I have to sing to it. snap AND sing. just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down! is it sad that I actually did just snap my fingers at my desk, just in case? What I really want is a personal assistant for the day, to organize my desk, find all the papers I need to do something about, and then help pay my bills, make photocopies, mail letters and whatever else I need to do. or watch the kids while I did all that, but if that were the case I'd need a nanny instead of a PA. or a multi-tasking PA.
Today was almost a 2 cups of coffee day. By lunchtime I needed another cup, but then ZaZa went upstairs for quiet time and then the D-man followed suit and I got to take a nice long shower. in the middle of the afternoon! it was awesome.
If you think of it, keep me in your prayers too. I'm having a hard time getting into the potty-training mindset. Bogie's all "make a big deal whenever she gets on the potty! positive reinforcement" and I'm thinking "what for? she didn't even do anything on it!". I know he's right, I'm just having a hard time remembering that she's 2 and training your bladder isn't as easy as I think it is just because I can already do it.

I think it's time for a Scooby-Snack. and by that I mean a cup of chocolate milk. that's right. I like chocolate milk. deal with it. boy, spell check did NOT like zoinks, jinkies, or scooby. and on that note I will leave you with
"and I would have gotten away with it too, if if weren't for you meddling kids and your dog!"

You might be a mother if:

-you get adept at picking things up with your toes so that you don't have to bend over with the baby
-you hear your husband say "you can't eat your pants, man"
-you only pee with the door shut when there's company over
-your 2-year old starts saying "I TOLD you...", "Don't touch!", and "look at me!"
-being pooped on doesn't phase you, but watching your kid stick her finger in her ear and then in her mouth makes you gag
-you have to explain to your daughter that your son doesn't have a tail because tails aren't in the front
-there are pen and crayon scribbles all over your "you might be a mother" list
-you realize you've been listening to kiddie songs for the past 20 minutes, but your kids have been asleep for 30
-you've ever had to say "that's not a bathtub, that's my left breast"
-phone conversations go something like this: "yes, I was calling-get down!-to see when you-no more juice, sweetie-were open until? Okay, thank-I said no, sweetie-thank you very much!"
-you hear a juicy burp that didn't come from your child but you check your shoulder for spit-up anyway
-uttering things like "please get your crayons out of your ears" and "petting zoos probably shouldn't have lions in them" are everyday occurrences
-you can breastfeed and cut coupons at the same time
-you open the freezer and a plastic cow falls into it because there are so many toys on top of the fridge in "time-out"
-you finally have an excuse to listen to as many Disney and Broadway songs as you want
-the phrase "don't play with his drool, please" has ever crossed your lips
-you recognize the look on a baby's face that says they're chewing on something they shouldn't have
-you watch a movie or TV show that features a newborn baby and think "pshft, that kid's 3 months old, easy"

What goes on inside my head

*  On Sesame Street, Elmo has a goldfish friend named "Dorothy" in every Elmo's World episode. I wonder how many goldfish they go through?

* If you can't make the effort to proofread your advertisement for spelling and grammar errors, what makes you think I'm going to grace you with my business?

* The world should work like a Mary Poppins film. I want to snap my fingers to tidy up a room and hop through a chalk picture to go on a vacation. Someone should get to work on that.

*There is a Gluten Free section in almost every grocery store. Why don't they have a High-Fructose Corn Syrup Free section, too?

*I find it irritating that nursing and maternity bras not only don't support, but also squish. If there was ever a time when the ladies needed a boost and to stay put, it's now!

*I really want to drive a VW bug so that I can watch people punch each other when I drive by.

*Regarding Disney's "Beauty and the Beast": I'm sorry, but there's just no way the shallow, superficial, muscular hunk is going to ignore the hot blonde triplets and go for the anti-social brunette bookworm. not gonna happen.

*We have a little basket full of magazines in our bathroom. It is mostly ESPN (there is one Real Simple with a fancy cover that I'll put in front when company comes over) because let's face it, I'm not in there long enough to need reading material. My husband thought it was weird that I had to turn the magazine around so that the athlete on the cover couldn't "watch" me pee. Am I alone in this?

Chin up

I'm in a bit of a funk right now, or as my former coworker used to call it, "a foul mood". I am having a "woe is me" pity party for myself...mostly because I can.
My birthday was on Monday. Only my mother called me. I have 3 siblings...none of them called me. none of them posted on my Facebook. Hell, I didn't even get a "Haps B!" text message. Now, I only turned 28. I realize that's not a big milestone or anything but it's still my birthday. One day out of the year, folks, that's all I'm asking. The reason I feel free to gripe on here is one; it's my blog, and two; I'm pretty sure only about 3 people actually read this, which leads me to pity party item two. The last 10 or so posts I've made have gotten no comments. None. not even if I add them all together. This bums me out. I know that I started this blog for myself, to get back into writing, but sometimes you just need the feedback, you know? to know that someone is out there that thinks your thoughts (however small or poorly written) are worth reading. I know I'm not superblogger or anything...ah, I guess I'm just complaining in hopes that this post will go viral and by tomorrow I'll have 3000 followers and I'll pop some ads up here and start making money for the first time since being laid off.
whatever. I guess I just need to get it through my head that this blog really is for me and anyone else's 2 cents is just a bonus. but then we get into "zero expectations" territory, which is good in theory...but I have noticed there is a SUPER fine line between "zero expectations" and "trust issues". or perhaps I should say "zero expectations" and Eeyore Syndrome. "I don't need anyone to comment, this is just for me. not that it matters, because no one will comment anyway. Nobody cares." see how that works?

I did have an excellent birthday, with some fantastic presents that I can't wait to use (Camera stuff, woohoo!) and Bogie let me sleep in while he took care of the kids (he actually took care of them most of the day, which was a super thoughtful and amazing gift). Maybe that's part of what's adding to my funk, it didn't take long to get spoiled with all that free time and now it's gone again. Maybe every day should be my birthday. only with more phone calls.
see, and now it's 11:15 at night and I've only had an hour and a half of free time, but I need to go to bed because D will be awake in a few hours because he's STILL not sleeping through the night...pretty sure sleep-deprivation doesn't help the foul mood.
you know what else doesn't help? having no money. I'm not a big fan of living on a budget, but I can do it. but I get super stressed out when there are bills hanging over my head that I can't pay. I hate it. hate hate hate. it wouldn't take much to make our lives free and easy, either. it's hard not to get resentful when I hear of some ballplayer (foot or base) that got fined for some stupid action that resulted in them paying oh $15,000 or so in fees. seriously, that's chump change for them and that amount would absolutely put us at ease. What they spend on the pro-athlete's equivalent of a parking ticket I could use to pay off all our bills, medical and otherwise, pay our rent for a year or so in advance, get a decent used car for both Bogie and I, and either make a serious dent in our student loans or make a nice deposit to our savings account.
$30,000 would put us completely out of debt, financially at ease with 2 nice vehicles and a solid nest egg. and they get fined that amount for doing the chicken dance in the end zone. gotta love America. (I have no idea if anyone got fined for doing the chicken dance in the endzone, I just made that up. but they get fined for doing really stupid things).
oh, AND...we were invited to a costume party tomorrow, except Bogie has to work and nobody would trade with him. so we'd have to leave the party at like 9:45...but we don't have a babysitter anyway and even if we did the kids won't go to bed until like 7:30 which basically gives us an hour at the party. where's my kazoo?
I know how to fix this. I will call up all my siblings and yell at them for being bad siblings, and then we'll ALL be in foul moods. I will also go try out for a game show and win my $30,000 nest egg... so who wants to go audition for "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" with me?

Craziness

Bogie's birthday was on Wednesday. My birthday is on Monday. We like to call the 5 day span between those days "Birthday Week".
We went out with friends on Wednesday night and had a great time (even though I had to come back early because D wouldn't go to sleep or stop crying).
My grandparents (who live in VA) came to visit us Thursday afternoon, we had a lovely visit where they got to meet D for the first time and reacquaint themselves with ZaZa, who was D's age when they saw her last. They stayed Thursday night (even stuck it out through the entire Phillies game before going to bed! I went to bed before my grandparents...I am officially old) and went back home Friday morning. This morning I went fake-eyelashes shopping with both kids and a friend of mine, she's still deciding what to wear for her costume (she's throwing a costume party next weekend and we're all going!) and I needed some accessories to complete my outfit (red lipstick, false eyelashes and black eyeliner are three of the items I got. Can you guess what/who I am? Are you distracted from guessing my costume by the fact that I did not own either lipstick or eyeliner before now?)
 Right now everyone's napping but me, I just got back from walking a mile at the gym and when everyone wakes up we're headed over to my Uncle's house. He's hosting the First Annual OctoberFeast Backyard BBQ and I'm very excited to see everyone and hang out. Tomorrow morning is church, and then after lunch my generous and gracious aunt is coming over to watch both kids so that Bogie and I can go have a date! It's her birthday present to us both, we're thinking dinner and a movie but we'll see how the cards fall. We may just decide to do a long dinner so that we can eat without rushing (or eating standing up, or refilling sippy cups, or picking sandwich chunks off the floor...you get my point)
Monday is my actual birthday, and Bogie has promised (as his gift to me) to play offense with D all Sunday night so that I can get some solid sleep, and then keep taking care of them both all day Monday so that I can enjoy my birthday however I wish. Mmmm, sounds heavenly. I think I might take a bath. or paint my toes. Or find a bottle of Arbor Mist and make it my friend. Monday evening we're headed over to Bogie's parents house to do the family birthday celebration together with them. I love his family. My family. (I'm gonna get yelled at for that one, "we're your family too now!" you knew what I meant.)
After that, the week kinda looks boring...until the costume party on Saturday that is! I'm excited for that too, I haven't dressed up in forever (i.e. Dromedary Camel when I was 6) and I'm hoping that I won't have to come back early for any reason *coughcoughDcoughcough*. Better make sure our babysitter (whoever that may be) is all squared away!
We should be leaving for the BBQ soon and everyone's still asleep. Guess I'll pass the time by collecting blankets and jackets and hats.

It's cold today

I can hear the rain crackling against the glass of the office window as the cars sploosh by. My son, comfy warm in his PJs, is working his way across the carpet in his pre-crawling quest for his sister's blue beach ball. He turns and grins at me, a heart-stopping, full-of-charm-too-great-for-his-tender-years sort of smile, all proud of himself that he managed to snag a white plastic Fisher-Price fence and is now gumming it ferociously. It's cold today. A tow truck sits at the curb of the dealership across the street, engine grumbling like a mother hen waiting for a 2-ton chick to get off her back.

PJs McGee decides he's done with the fence and wants actual food RIGHT NOW, so as he smacks and slurps his way through his afternoon snack I attempt to keep typing with only one hand. Not an easy task, especially when McGee decides he wants to eat my hoodie drawstrings instead. Today is the kind of day that I would wish to be able to spend all day in my sweatpants, drinking tea or hot chocolate and watching old movies. Thanks to the wonders of being laid off, I can spend all day in my sweatpants, but I'm lucky if I get to eat a meal, much less drink tea or watch a movie.

It's Quiet Time right now, which is mommy-code for "I don't care if you sleep or not, but you're going to spend the next 2 hours up in your room so that I can regain my sanity". Thankfully, my high-energy 2-year old (ZaZa) usually sleeps for most of the time, which makes for a much more enjoyable afternoon for all involved.

When I was still working, I used to sit at my desk and think about all the things I could accomplish if I were at home, and would make lists on pieces of scrap paper and post-it notes of tasks to accomplish once I got home. But getting home usually meant a snack and crashing on the couch to requests of "mommy read?" as a sleek board book was pushed at my nose, and those lists were forgotten in the stewpot of hugs, "how'd your day go?" summaries, and dinnertime preparations. I always thought that work was my excuse for never getting those lists finished, but now that I'm home all day I beat myself up that none of those tasks have been completed. And then I remember that "Mommy" is a much harder job, and who really gives a flying fart in space if there's a huge pile of clothes at the foot of my bed, as long as they're mounded up all nice and high so that nobody trips over a stray sweatshirt and does a faceplant? There will always be a to-do list, but there will not always be a 6-month old who wants to cuddle, or a 2-year old with a stuffy nose who wants to pretend she's a cat, a dog, and a cow all at once.

It's hard to not feel guilty for not being the perfect housewife and SAHM (stay-at-home-mom), because when I wasn't able to it was easy to imagine that I could be. Reality is a swift kick in the Whatsies, you know? Most days I pretend that the undone lists don't bother me, and fail miserably. I know in my head that there are far more important things, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that being in a completely clean house makes me happy and at ease.

So here I sit in my sweatpants and soggy-stringed hoodie, having forgotten to eat lunch because McGee woke up

as soon as ZaZa went to bed. I haven't showered yet today, there are dishes on the counter, and I have to leave for a haircut appointment in 15 minutes. I will most likely scarf down a banana because it's quick and healthier than a zebra cake. It's still cold, and still raining. The house is still messy, and I'm still hungry. ZaZa's still sleeping, and I'm still thinking about all the things I could be getting done if I didn't have 2 kids to care for all day long. But then I think about how barren life would be if I didn't have my precious little ones, and I'm okay with the crumbs on the carpet and the unfolded laundry (but only because I know that I will eventually get to clean it without ignoring my babies or husband).

 Rain, rain, go away, Mama wants her new haircut to not frizz today.

Make Mine Blue is having a giveaway!

My friend Jenn over at Make Mine Blue is having a giveaway. Today's the last day for it, folks, tomorrow her cutie-pie 3-year old will be picking a name out of a hat.
To enter just leave a comment telling her what your favorite color is!

Today we discovered...

*Extra-tall babygates do not a 3-foot tall toddler contain.

*6:30 am is a miserable time to be awake, especially when it involves discovering your kid in the bathroom rifling through the drawer full of bandaids, wipes, and nail polish (see above)

*peanut butter is an excellent substitute for glue. The probability of PB being distributed on objects is directly related to the probability of said object being expensive, fragile, or otherwise averse to oily food pastes.

*in a similar vein, the probability of missing the garbage truck is directly related to how much garbage is accumulating by the back door.

*the earlier you wake up, the longer the day seems (i.e. "it's 8:30 am, shouldn't it be time for lunch by now?")

*the one day that the sleepless, up-every-few-hours kid sleeps in is the one day that the goes-right-to-bed-and-sleeps-for-12-hours-kid will be up bright (not so much) and early.

* "ouchy butt" is toddler code for raunchiest diaper ever

*nothing ever goes according to plan...except on the rare occasions where it doesn't matter and you have several back-up plans that you like better

*the angrier you are, the more likely it is that your kid will do something totally off the wall that makes you crack up

*stainless steel mixing bowls are best used as a drumset only when everyone is awake

*burning candles with such scents as "pumpkin spice" and "mulled cider" will not only make your home smell delicious and Autumn-like, but will also leave you missing your family and the holiday get-togethers (and possibly craving pie)

*a brand new diaper is just an invitation to its owner to poo faster and with more quantity

*being out of bread, strawberries, yogurt, hotdogs, string cheese and grapes almost guarantees that your toddler will request toast, sandwiches, fruit, and all of the other items you cannot make or no longer have

*the carnival fish your daughter came home with will not die immediately as expected...but rather after they have been named and she is semi-attached you can expect them to "hitch a ride on the porcelain express" any day now. (Clyde and Janet, in case you were interested. and bonus points if you can tell me where the quote is from!)

Save the Ta-Tas!

Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I thought I'd write a post about how you can help support research and awareness!

S.C. Johnson has a "pink my profile" application for Facebook, (http://www.facebook.com/rightathome) the first time anyone installs the application and pinks their profile, S.C. Johnson will donate $1 to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation (http://www.bcrfcure.org/). I did it, the application was super easy to install and I could choose how dark or light pink I wanted my picture and which corner I wanted the ribbon in. Easy-peasy!

Buy pink things! http://www.shopkomen.com/ 25% of your purchase goes to Susan G. Komen For the Cure®
and speaking of Susan G. Komen: (http://ww5.komen.org/donate/donate.html) Yoplait is doing their Save Lids to Save Lives, for every lid you turn in ( goes until December 31, 2010) Yoplait^® will donate 10 cents per lid (up to $1.6 million!) to Susan G. Komen for the Cure^®. Guaranteed donation of $500,000 minimum!

Go to The Breast Cancer Site (http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=2) and click on that giant pink button so that sponsors will pay for mammograms! You can also shop there too, (direct quote from their website "About" section) " With each item purchased, shoppers generate funds for free mammograms for women in need."

Save the Ta-Tas: (http://www.savethetatas.com/) has merchandise for sale and at least 25% of proceeds go to fight against breast cancer.

There are more organizations but I've run out of time. I need to go to bed because my 6-month old will be awake in a couple of hours looking for a meal (that boy would be eating us out of house and home if breastmilk weren't free!) see I can talk about that because this is a Ta-tas post! Breastfeeding is actually one of the ways to significantly lower your risk of breast cancer. Please get your screenings, do the exams, and live healthy to live long!
Feel your boobies!

Autumn has arrived!

I am officially declaring it. Fall is here, for the following reasons:

* Saturday night I had the first cup of hot chocolate this season.
* Yesterday I wore my fuzzy purple slippers all day long.
* This morning I had to turn the heat on in the car (dashboard said it was 49 degrees out!)
* I am currently burning a "Pumpkin Spice" candle to combat the gloominess of this cold, rainy day.

If it feels like Fall, and it looks like Fall, and it smells like Fall, and it tastes like Fall, and it sounds like Fall,
then it must be Fall!

What I need to see right now

and what also, incidentally, won 3rd place in the "Black and White - Things" category of our town's fair Photography contest. (I changed it to black and white before I printed it out, this is the original, a page from my bible).

5 Things I love Friday

1. Amazon's Universal Wishlist
COOLEST. THING. EVER. you know how when you have to supply a Christmas list to your family around the end of November, and you think "I had so many good ideas a couple weeks ago but now I forget" and then you end up asking for giftcards and kneesocks? Well, no more! (unless you wanted kneesocks, that is). Amazon itself is fantastic, but they have a button you can add to your favorites that will (once you create a wishlist on Amazon) let you add items to that list from ANY WEBSITE. Found a sweet pair of shoes? select the color and size and add it to your wishlist. Found a movie on eBay you really want? add it to your wishlist. You can go onto Amazon and search for any public wishlist by the person's name, and when you see an item you'd like to buy, just click on the item name! if it's from another website, it'll take you straight there and presto! It's that little moment of "oh, I could really use one of those" and now you can track those moments all in one place! I should be getting paid to plug this, because I'm doing a pretty darn good job. But it is just that nifty. Besides various random things (like a pink nalgene bottle) I have things on my list that I haven't been able to find anywhere, so I'm letting Amazon track it for me, like curtains for Dominic's nursery and my discontinued dishware pattern. I check it every couple days to see if the curtains and dishes have become available!

2. Supercook.com
I totally came up with this fabulous idea for a website, googled it to make sure no one else had it, and found that someone else had already thought of it. This website lets you plug in the ingredients you have in your kitchen and pantry and will spit back recipes that you can make with what you already have! It splits them into categories (entrees, deserts), and lists what ingredients you need if you happen to be missing any. You can even sign up for a username and password (which I didn't do yet) but I'm sure that lets you keep a virtual pantry that you can keep updated, and you can even save favorite recipes! How cool is that?

3. Friends
we suddenly (after a several month dry spell) have a ton of plans with lots of friends and family in the next few weeks! barbecues, baby showers, dinners, birthdays, I love it! and of course this is the month where all the towns have their street fairs, ours starts next week. I really hope they have a Merry-Go-Round, I want to take ZaZa on it!

4. Our Rec Center
A friend of ours who works there asked me to be her partner for this challenge that the Rec was doing, so for the next 6 weeks not only do I get to do fun challenges (some physical, some around the community) but I also have access to the amazing gym facilities for only $20! (the cost of the Dynamic Duo challenge). and the winners get to split a cash prize! I haven't yet decided what I'll do with it if we win, but I'm thinking either Bogie's birthday present or a trip to see one of my girlies. It's nice to be able to get out of the house for something other than church or grocery shopping, and I fully plan on taking advantage of the gym if I can.

5. Coffee
I just discovered this coffeehouse right down the street, it's super cute and the coffee was amazing! I bought half a pound of their House blend, now I just need to get some creamer and I'm all set for a couple weeks of caffeine. hallelujah. I really want to go there for lunch some time, the owner (a cutie-pie of a girl who couldn't have been much older than me) gave me a take-out menu with my coffee and the food looks really good. There was also a certain item for sale on their shelves that (if it comes in a certain color, which she is looking into for me) would make a great Christmas present for my mother-in-law! But don't tell her, shhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Who wants to go to Lunch with me??? http://www.newhollandcoffee.com/

Not Me Monday

So one of the blogs that I read regularly (MckMama) has this thing called "not me monday" where you confess your less-than-stellar moments of momhood/wifehood/life in general in a tongue-in-cheek tone. Up until a few weeks ago I only read them, I never participated. Well, I finally decided I would do one and was quite excited for that following monday...and she didn't post one. So when the next monday rolled around I was again excited to participate...and she not only didn't do one but revealed that she felt her little meme had run its course and was going to discontinue doing it. Needless to say I was pretty disappointed but didn't want a perfectly good draft to go to waste, so with full credit going to MckMama for her idea, here's my Not Me Monday post:

I did NOT make a bag of steak fries at 11:00 at night because I'd forgotten to eat dinner in the melee of getting a 2 year old and a 5 month old to bed. I did NOT then forget to put the leftover fries away and leave them on the table, and most certainly did NOT let my 2-year old find them the next morning and eat them for breakfast.

I also did NOT grab the camera and start taking pictures instead of stopping my toddler from drawing with crayons on the coffee table because I was most definitely NOT thinking "Grandma would love to see this" and "they're washable crayons anyway, a Clorox wipe will take that right off".
I did NOT buy a potty seat and "big girl" undies in preparation for potty-training our 2-year old, and most certainly did NOT then chicken out and leave the potty seat gathering dust in the bathroom.

When it came time to rush-clean the kitchen before company came over, I did NOT grab all the dirty dishes on the counter and stack them in the bottom of the dishwasher, because I was most definitely NOT thinking "I'll wash them after they leave". I also did NOT procrastinate getting my daughter up from her nap because I needed a little more me-time, because I could NOT hear her bumping around in her room and tossing toys down the stairs.

I did NOT giggle at my 2-year old when she crossed her arms and yelled "that's IT!" because I wouldn't give her another animal cracker.  When she later walked in to see her brother playing with one of her toys (I would NOT let him play with her stuff) I did NOT giggle again when she indignantly said "hey, what's going on here?"

I would never do all of that. Not me!

Cloth Diapers Rock

When I was pregnant with my first child, there really was no question about what we would wrap on her teeny tiny tushie. Since my youngest sibling came along when I was almost 11, I learned very quickly how to manage cloth diapers. My mom used the old style, with the folding, the pinning, and the plastic pants and I didn't want to go through all of that hassle with my own kids. I was determined to use disposable diapers until my sister brought it to my attention that not only did people still cloth diaper, but the diapers had changed and become convenient and easy, just like disposable.

I was intrigued, especially when she told me that her friend who cloth-diapered found a kind that had snaps on the front that made them change sizes, and a baby could use the same diapers from birth until he or she was potty-trained! That sounded pretty sweet to me, so I checked out the website that she gave me:

http://www.cottonbabies.com/
On there I found my BumGenius 3.0 One Size diapers and never looked back.

I registered for diapers on the website  for my baby shower, I peppered my sister and her friend with questions about washing, storage, care, maintenance, I scoured CottonBabies' website for all the info I could find and I even bookmarked the website.The first diaper that I received was at a surprise baby shower, it was a white one all bundled in a neat little package with the doubler inserts.  Even those who knew about my decision to cloth-diaper were intrigued, and the bundle was quickly popped open and passed around the room as I was asked many questions (which I knew all the answers to thanks to  the website!) I received several cloth diapers that day and more in the mail later on. We supplemented those with a super-saver pack of 12. Since our first child was a girl I thought it would be cute to get all pink ones, not thinking that we might have more kids later on so needless to say, sometimes our 6-month old son wears pink diapers. On those days I dress him in his Orioles outfit to soften the blow to Daddy's heart.

I've learned a lot along the way, a lot more than I thought I would. I learned which laundry detergent worked best for washing them, I learned that the hotter the water (after the first cold rinse) the better they wash. I learned that even though you're shelling out some big bucks in the beginning to get a good stockpile of diapers, it's WAY worth it because you get to use the same diapers until the kid's potty-trained! (caveat: this is only because we got the one-size that has adjustable snaps, most cloth diapers you can't adjust them and you'd have to keep buying the next size up. To us, it made no sense to invest in cloth diapers if you had to keep buying more just like disposable). So more money up-front meant way less in the long run, and that's math that I LIKE to do. I learned that biodegradable diaper liners are amazing things once your baby's eating solid foods, it saves you a lot of icky work when you can just peel the liner and its contents out of the diaper and flush it away. The liners are also great for keeping rash cream off of the diaper, since the cream will interfere with the diaper's absorbability but our daughter inherited mommy's fair skin and gets pink at the drop of a hat.

My cloth diapers are amazing; they saved us money, I have a never-ending supply of diapers as long as I keep up with the laundry, I can rest easy knowing that I'm not adding to the landfills that are already full of (not-so)disposable diapers, and they even come in fun colors!
If I had to do it all over again, I would still cloth-diaper my babies (although I would probably buy all white this time).

If you build it, they will...protest

I would really like to know what the big stinking deal is with building an Islamic Community Center near the former site of the World Trade Center. I mean, I've seen people comment that it's immoral and unpatriotic. Seriously, folks? Do we need to go back to grade school and remind all of you what those two words actually mean?
First of all, just because the WTC was bombed by cowardly terrorists who happened to be Islamic doesn't mean that every Islamic believer is a terrorist. One purple elephant does not mean all elephants are purple. Timothy McVeigh was raised Roman Catholic, but I don't see anyone protesting St. Peter's Roman Catholic Church that's right across the street from Ground Zero.
Second of all, it's not like they're trying to build it ON the actual site of the WTC, it's several blocks away. Just how far away does it have to be before freedom of religion is acceptable again? How close is too close? Nobody is trying to disrespect the memory of the people that died that day, and even if they were I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be doing it with a Community Center, of all things.
Last I checked, being unpatriotic meant not supporting one's country and its ways of life. Oh, wait a minute, isn't America the "land of the free" where freedom of religion supposedly abounds? Someone please explain to me how refusing to allow someone to build a Community Center that will allow them to practice their religion as they please results in them being unpatriotic? If you ask me, the only unpatriotic ones here are the narrow-minded, hateful people who are trying to use a tragic event like 9/11 as an excuse to discriminate and pass judgement.
And you want to talk about immorality? I don't see anyone protesting the strip joints that are already in the same vicinity of Ground Zero. Where are the protests for that? Or the gambling establishments? or the bars? How is a 13-story building with a prayer room and a bookstore more offensive to the memory of those who died on 9/11 than drunks and strippers?
And the pastor who thinks burning the Qur'an is the right way to go about this? He clearly doesn't know the Jesus that I know. And in regards to his claim that Jesus would burn the Qur'an too: the Jesus that I know doesn't burn things for the sake of a political agenda, nor is he intimidated by a religion of differing claims. Jesus doesn't need to play offense or defense, he doesn't need to justify his existence or explain his actions. In my opinion, Jesus would be more inclined to go hang out with the drunks and strippers and show them God's love and the freedom it brings, rather than further an agenda of hate.
and that's my opinion on the subject.

Favorite Quotes

I came across a new one this morning and thought I'd share, and then I thought "why share just that one? Let's have a whole bunch of them and let others share theirs!" My Monday morning has already consisted of cleaning up poo that was not on a baby's bum, so I could use some good ones!

Here's my newest favorite (the one I just discovered this morning,) the last 2 lines of Sarah Williams' The Old Astronomer to His Pupil:
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

And on a more jovial note, Liz Lemon from 30 Rock:
I really don't think you want my advice, I had a 3 Musketeers bar for breakfast and this bra is held together with tape.

Those are two of my favorites, now it's your turn! What are some of your favorite quotes?

Favorite Things Friday

1. Chocolate Chip Cookies. I made a double batch tonight and got a fresh gallon of 2%. Best. Snack. Ever.
2. Batteries. They let me take videos of my beautiful little Destructo (ZaZa) and my plooshy-lipped little Boy Wonder. I like them.
3. The Time-Out Chair. It is rapidly becoming my good friend. and her worst enemy.
4. My sister-in-law. We had an awesomely long conversation the other day, she just plain rocks. I love you!
5. The Failblog. oh so funny and gives me a much needed pick-me-up. So Much Pun and Failbook are two of my favorites.

"Put on your big girl panties...

...and deal with it."
I've heard that quote many times, but what are you supposed to do when you've already got your big girl panties on and you've BEEN dealing with it? Find a bigger pair? Ditch the panties and go for something a little more substantial? I personally would prefer to put on my "big girl steel-toed boots" and go kick the everloving snot out of something.
I was really hoping the wedding trip would be enough of a break that I could recharge and start fresh. But as fun as that was and despite the fact that Bogie and I slept for 12 hours after the reception, what little recharging I got has already been used up because I'm right back where I started at the edge of exhaustion. I know that my attitude needs adjusting, (it may have been suggested recently that I "find some happy pills") but it's very hard to believe there's an end in sight when, well, there's no end in sight!
It's hard with Bogie being out of commission, but that's really only a small part of it. D seems to be getting out of the teething zone and back into a normal routine (he's stayed asleep once I put him down for the past 5 nights, except for one quick pacifier run an hour ago) but now that he seems to be getting better ZaZa's temper and tantrums seem to be getting worse.
I always said that I wanted to stay home with my kids, but being laid off and not given the choice about staying home with them made it hard not to be resentful. It's times like these that I look back and wonder how the heck my mother did it. 3 kids under the age of 4, my dad on tour a lot, and no family close by.
If I'm going to survive this whole stay-at-home-mom thing, I need to get creative and fast! I cannot just stay in the house and sing songs and play games, I need human interaction and preferably from a human whose diaper I don't have to change! I know it will be easier when D gets a little older, then trips to the park and other places will go smoother once I no longer have to hold him constantly, but that seems so far away! Cabin Fever: I has it.
It's not just me, either. ZaZa has almost no tantrums, takes super long naps, and is overall more cheerful when we have a playdate with someone. A wonderful friend of ours (also a SAHM) watched her while I took Bogie to the doctor last Monday (D went with us too since we're pretty much attached at the hip...er, boob). ZaZa played all morning with another little girl whom she kept calling by the wrong name. Most of ZaZa's playdates have been with our friend who has 2 girls, P & K.  ZaZa kept calling this little girl P, but it was all good because this little girl kept calling her Abby Cadabby (the pink fairy on Sesame Street with the pom-pom pigtails) probably because ZaZa's hair was in pigtails. They both got the right names eventually, but it was really cute to observe. They did lots of squealing and chasing each other, and once we got home she took a 3 hour nap. It was awesome. But I can't very well schedule playdates every day because I don't know that many SAHMs and the ones I do know I don't want to drive crazy.
Do I want to raise my own children, on my own schedule, by my own terms? Yes.
Do I want to hang out at home, all day every day, praying I don't resort to the TV as entertainment so that I can get a few blessed moments of peace? No.
I don't miss the stress of my job, but I do miss the challenge. Don't get me wrong, ZaZa and D are a challenge, but when I prevail at THIS job nobody cares or notices as long as the sippy cup is full and the diapers are dry. Probably the only people who will truly empathize is other moms, because I'm not looking for a thank you. I'm not raising my children to be thanked for it, I'm raising them because they're mine and that's the responsibility I promised to undertake when we decided to make them. I just didn't realize it would be this hard. Actually, raising children is not hard, it's actually quite simple (and repetitive, if I may say so). Raising children is just draining...emotionally, spiritually, physically. It's times like these that make me wonder how Jesus puts up with us. When I have to remind ZaZa for the 37th time in one morning not to spit or shove D's Jumparoo while he's in it, the thought flickers through my mind that this must be how God feels telling me to trust him every 10.41 seconds.
All of this to say that I have no answers, most of this is venting anyway, but I'm sure God will use it as some sort of object lesson in the near future because He's tricksy like that.
I have no interest in Happy Pills, (unless by "pills" you mean red & purple Skittles) but I really would like to know just how long those big girl panties are supposed to last while you're "dealing with it"? Because my pair wore out a while ago and I still have a long way to deal.
Bring on the steel-toed boots.